Why we get embarrassed by compliments

Compliment is a sign of attention to another person, an opportunity to establish a good contact and a special atmosphere of communication. The ability to give and receive compliments is an indicator not only of cultural, but also of psychological and mental health.

Thanks to a compliment we seem to say to the other “you are, I see you, I emphasize you, I like you”. This is very important, enjoyable and necessary for a person of all ages and status.

But why does this embarrassment happen?

Reactions to compliments are directly related to self-esteem, social experience, and motivation. If significant adults have been telling you since childhood that you are not like that, it is very difficult to believe other words. If our worthiness is demeaned, it’s hard to believe that this other can make me stand out now. If our desires are not valued, it is impossible to feel the sincerity that I can be seen with anything special at all.

One simply doesn’t have the experience of responding with a sense of pleasure. It’s not formed. Instead, it seems to shrink in size because there is an inner critic living inside that will say this is not right, something is wrong here. This critic keeps us from growing, keeps us from building trust, keeps us from being motivated to move forward and create something new together.

What to do about it?

Look at your life, what you have done, what you continue to do, what you want for the future. This is all you can build on. It is your personal ability to cope and live, to desire and achieve. Your creativity. Try to appropriate this authorship for yourself. If you realize that you have done a lot for it, you will find it easier to believe that the other can notice it too. He may like you with it. He sees something special.

Interestingly, when it comes out, then the other becomes visible. He is there too, which means that together you can create something new and beautiful.